Self-compassion: how to treat yourself with kindness
Stress
Key points
- Meta-analysis: a strong link between self-compassion and less anxiety and depression.
- Randomized trial: the 8-week MSC program reduced depression, anxiety and stress.
- The effects lasted at least a year.
- Self-compassion is not self-pity or weakness.
What the research shows
Meta-analysis. Pooling 20 samples, researchers found a large association between higher self-compassion and lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress (MacBeth & Gumley, 2012).
The Mindful Self-Compassion program. In a randomized trial by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, adults who completed the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion program showed greater increases in self-compassion, mindfulness and life satisfaction, and greater decreases in depression, anxiety and stress, than a waitlist group. Gains were maintained at 6-month and 1-year follow-ups (Neff & Germer, 2013).
Mindfulness meditation programs, which share some elements, modestly reduce anxiety and depression (Goyal et al., 2014).
The self-compassion break
When you are struggling, pause and say to yourself:
- “This is a moment of suffering.” (Mindfulness: naming the pain.)
- “Suffering is part of life; I am not alone.” (Common humanity.)
- “May I be kind to myself.” (Self-kindness.) You can put a hand on your chest.
Ask yourself: what would I say to a good friend in this situation?
Frequently asked questions
Does self-compassion make people lazy?
Research suggests the opposite: self-compassionate people are more likely to learn from mistakes and try again.
How is it different from self-esteem?
Self-esteem depends on evaluating yourself positively; self-compassion is kindness toward yourself regardless of success or failure.
Sources
- MacBeth et al. (2012). Exploring compassion: A meta-analysis of the association between self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review 32(6):545-552. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003
- Neff et al. (2013). A Pilot Study and Randomized Controlled Trial of the Mindful Self‐Compassion Program. Journal of Clinical Psychology 69(1):28-44. doi:10.1002/jclp.21923
- Goyal et al. (2014). Meditation Programs for Psychological Stress and Well-being. JAMA Internal Medicine 174(3):357. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018
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